CHARLES ANCORR
The quintessential TV news anchor.
DAPHNIE FORTENSE
The reporter at the scene.
BILL SANDUSKY
The reporter in the field 
JERRY ANDALUVIAN
The company spokesman
MELANIE MALDONADO
The reporter providing deep background.
MILTON BATLOCK
The authoritative newspaper editor.
RUDY BOSTON
The international correspondent
on the national beat.
POLICE CHIEF BUCK LATHEM
The top cop in charge.
DREYFUS ORGANZA
The best-selling author.
MAN #1
A man doing nothing.

WOMAN #1
A woman planning to do nothing.
SENATOR FREEBIE
A legislator with no agenda.
WOMAN #2
A woman who has nothing to say.
At the top of the TV news hour, Charles Anchorr breathlessly announces:
"A major story we’ve been following all day. Nothing is happening.”

And so begins up-to-the-second team coverage of “this dramatic story that has been unfolding at breakneck speed.”

Because when it comes to telling you today’s Big Stories, “We won’t let nothing stop us!”

NOTE: THE PLAY CAN BE PERFORMED BY 6 ACTORS
(4 MEN, 2 WOMEN, though it really doesn’t matter) WITH LOTS OF HATS.
 
Cary Pepper