The town of Appleton has a problem:
With no property taxes on houses of worship, and very liberal deed restrictions, Appleton, which has a population of 3,000,
now has a total of 300 churches. These include the Second Coming Car Service, and Messiah Mike’s House of Stereo.
So it’s no surprise that the town’s tax base is eroding.
That’s why HENRY BILLINGS, of the City Assessor’s Office, is visiting every church in town to determine that each
is a legitimate house of worship.
This Sunday, Henry walks into the House of the Holy Moment, a church run by BUTCH HAGGERTY.
Whose idea of a house of worship is Very Different from what the city fathers had in mind when they enacted the bylaws
that brought Butch to Appleton.
Henry tries to demonstrate that Butch is not running a bona fide church.
Which leads them to questions like:
What is a church?
What makes a religion?
No matter what question Henry asks, Butch has a ready answer:
“Maybe we have different ideas of what’s religious.”
“This isn’t your idea of a church. It’s exactly what I think a church should be.”
Stymied by Butch’s responses, Henry vows to take this up with the City Council and leaves in frustration.
Minutes later, in walks CHARLIE, an Everyman depressed by the shape the world is in.
Charlie is going to every church in town, looking for answers.
Ensconced in the House of the Holy Moment, Butch has ‘em.
And they’re unlike any Charlie has heard in any other church. Or anywhere else.
By the time he leaves, Charlie has found religion, or Butch’s version of it, anyway, in the House of the Holy Moment.
“...wonderfully funny lines and observations on the nature of church.”
- Pat Craig, Contra Costa Times.com
“ challenging and confrontational”
- Scott Heyward Chapman, Amazon.com
Semifinalist — 2007 Drury University One-Act Playwriting Competition
Published in Best American Short Plays 2007-2008
Applause Theatre & Cinema Books, New York, NY
Published in BOA 7 Bay One-Acts Festival
Three Wise Monkeys Press, San Francisco, CA
With no property taxes on houses of worship, and very liberal deed restrictions, Appleton, which has a population of 3,000,
now has a total of 300 churches. These include the Second Coming Car Service, and Messiah Mike’s House of Stereo.
So it’s no surprise that the town’s tax base is eroding.
That’s why HENRY BILLINGS, of the City Assessor’s Office, is visiting every church in town to determine that each
is a legitimate house of worship.
This Sunday, Henry walks into the House of the Holy Moment, a church run by BUTCH HAGGERTY.
Whose idea of a house of worship is Very Different from what the city fathers had in mind when they enacted the bylaws
that brought Butch to Appleton.
Henry tries to demonstrate that Butch is not running a bona fide church.
Which leads them to questions like:
What is a church?
What makes a religion?
No matter what question Henry asks, Butch has a ready answer:
“Maybe we have different ideas of what’s religious.”
“This isn’t your idea of a church. It’s exactly what I think a church should be.”
Stymied by Butch’s responses, Henry vows to take this up with the City Council and leaves in frustration.
Minutes later, in walks CHARLIE, an Everyman depressed by the shape the world is in.
Charlie is going to every church in town, looking for answers.
Ensconced in the House of the Holy Moment, Butch has ‘em.
And they’re unlike any Charlie has heard in any other church. Or anywhere else.
By the time he leaves, Charlie has found religion, or Butch’s version of it, anyway, in the House of the Holy Moment.
“...wonderfully funny lines and observations on the nature of church.”
- Pat Craig, Contra Costa Times.com
“ challenging and confrontational”
- Scott Heyward Chapman, Amazon.com
Semifinalist — 2007 Drury University One-Act Playwriting Competition
Published in Best American Short Plays 2007-2008
Applause Theatre & Cinema Books, New York, NY
Published in BOA 7 Bay One-Acts Festival
Three Wise Monkeys Press, San Francisco, CA
BUTCH HAGGERTY |
40s-50s He’s been around and it shows. If there’s a hustle, he’ll find it and use it. And he's open to suggestions.
|
HENRY BILLINGS |
30s-40s Always on the straight and narrow. A bureaucrat. Very neat and orderly. |
CHARLIE |
A regular Joe weighed down by the mess the world is in. |
2017