MASON has been cast in a newly-discovered, never-before-seen play by the world-class absurdist LaSalle Montclare.
On the first day of rehearsal, he learns that Montclare’s estate is insisting the play be performed exactly as Montclare wrote it.
Not a word can be changed.
Problem is, Montclare was a terrible typist. Which is why the play opens with Mason holding his costar at gunpoint and saying,
“I’ve got a bun.”
Mason can’t believe they’re going to perform the play as written, typos and all, but JOHN, his director,
says the estate will pull production rights if they don’t.
And Mason is even more astounded when he hears that his next line is “Come out or I’ll hoot.”
When Mason threatens to quit the show, John points out that critics love Montclare. All his plays get rave reviews like this one:
“Montclare is a world-class absurdist with an amazing ear for language, who turns society’s foibles squarely on their heads
with devastating comic effect.” That was The New York Times.
Mason’s costar, GLORIA, arrives and loses no time in revealing she’s just read a Ph.D. thesis on Montclare
and understands him perfectly: Montclare’s unique dialogue should not be viewed within the framework
of the traditional communication paradigm.
With John insisting that every word of dialog be performed exactly as written, and Gloria sharing her new insights about Montclare
("He explores that shadowy region where humankind’s primal nebulaic plasma merges with its outward veneer
of imposed order and the primitive Uh! runs headlong into the nascent Oh!”) soon Mason is wondering if he’s the only sane person
in the room.
Which is when John mentions there’s already so much media buzz surrounding this play
that all their careers are about to go into the stratosphere. “Are you going to walk away from that?”
Let’s start over.
From the hoot...
Winner – Playwrights First Best New Play Award 2022
Semi-Finalist – B Street Theatre 2020 New Comedies Festival
Available as a 1-act play — Mark My Worms
Available as a 10-minute play — I've Got A Bun
On the first day of rehearsal, he learns that Montclare’s estate is insisting the play be performed exactly as Montclare wrote it.
Not a word can be changed.
Problem is, Montclare was a terrible typist. Which is why the play opens with Mason holding his costar at gunpoint and saying,
“I’ve got a bun.”
Mason can’t believe they’re going to perform the play as written, typos and all, but JOHN, his director,
says the estate will pull production rights if they don’t.
And Mason is even more astounded when he hears that his next line is “Come out or I’ll hoot.”
When Mason threatens to quit the show, John points out that critics love Montclare. All his plays get rave reviews like this one:
“Montclare is a world-class absurdist with an amazing ear for language, who turns society’s foibles squarely on their heads
with devastating comic effect.” That was The New York Times.
Mason’s costar, GLORIA, arrives and loses no time in revealing she’s just read a Ph.D. thesis on Montclare
and understands him perfectly: Montclare’s unique dialogue should not be viewed within the framework
of the traditional communication paradigm.
With John insisting that every word of dialog be performed exactly as written, and Gloria sharing her new insights about Montclare
("He explores that shadowy region where humankind’s primal nebulaic plasma merges with its outward veneer
of imposed order and the primitive Uh! runs headlong into the nascent Oh!”) soon Mason is wondering if he’s the only sane person
in the room.
Which is when John mentions there’s already so much media buzz surrounding this play
that all their careers are about to go into the stratosphere. “Are you going to walk away from that?”
Let’s start over.
From the hoot...
Winner – Playwrights First Best New Play Award 2022
Semi-Finalist – B Street Theatre 2020 New Comedies Festival
Available as a 1-act play — Mark My Worms
Available as a 10-minute play — I've Got A Bun
MASON |
A theater director. Age unimportant, but probably at least 40. |
JOHN |
An actor. Age unimportant, but should be about the same age as John.
|
GLORIA |
An actress. Age unimportant, but should be about the same age as Mason and John.
|
MIRANDA |
A dramaturg Age unimportant, but should be about the same age as Mason, John, and Gloria.
|
LINDSEY |
Mason’s wife About the same age as Mason. |
RANDY |
27 Tech millionaire turned producer. |
