When Michael Smith reads in the newspaper that the FBI will allow people to examine their file,
he makes the mistake of taking them up on their offer.
An innocent, law-abiding citizen with a healthy respect for authority and a curious streak he soon comes to regret,
Smith drops by FBI headquarters to see if they happen to have a file on him, knowing full well they don’t,
because he hasn’t done anything.
Much to Smith’s dismay, there most certainly is a file on him. (“We have files on everyone!”)
However, the officious, protocol-obsessed agent is not permitted to tell him what’s in the file.
The only way Smith can get information is by asking questions (such as, “Am I down for drug smuggling?”).
As Smith asks his questions, the agent diligently writes everything down — in Smith’s file.
And as the questions continue, Smith’s file gets bigger and bigger...
Until, with such a massive file so full of information on his activities, proclivities, and eccentricities,
it becomes clear that the only way Smith will get out of this is by making a full confession.
“...wonderfully funny lines and observations on the nature of church.”
- Pat Craig, Contra Costa Times.com
“ challenging and confrontational”
- Scott Heyward Chapman, Amazon.com
Semifinalist — 2007 Drury University One-Act Playwriting Competition
Published in Best American Short Plays 2007-2008
Applause Theatre & Cinema Books, New York, NY
Published in BOA 7 Bay One-Acts Festival
Three Wise Monkeys Press, San Francisco, CA
he makes the mistake of taking them up on their offer.
An innocent, law-abiding citizen with a healthy respect for authority and a curious streak he soon comes to regret,
Smith drops by FBI headquarters to see if they happen to have a file on him, knowing full well they don’t,
because he hasn’t done anything.
Much to Smith’s dismay, there most certainly is a file on him. (“We have files on everyone!”)
However, the officious, protocol-obsessed agent is not permitted to tell him what’s in the file.
The only way Smith can get information is by asking questions (such as, “Am I down for drug smuggling?”).
As Smith asks his questions, the agent diligently writes everything down — in Smith’s file.
And as the questions continue, Smith’s file gets bigger and bigger...
Until, with such a massive file so full of information on his activities, proclivities, and eccentricities,
it becomes clear that the only way Smith will get out of this is by making a full confession.
“...wonderfully funny lines and observations on the nature of church.”
- Pat Craig, Contra Costa Times.com
“ challenging and confrontational”
- Scott Heyward Chapman, Amazon.com
Semifinalist — 2007 Drury University One-Act Playwriting Competition
Published in Best American Short Plays 2007-2008
Applause Theatre & Cinema Books, New York, NY
Published in BOA 7 Bay One-Acts Festival
Three Wise Monkeys Press, San Francisco, CA
FRED SMITH |
40 Just your average kind of guy.
|
THE AGENT |
Your typical bureaucrat.
|
A MAN IN SUNGLASSES
A HOODED FIGURE
ANOTHER MAN |
All appear briefly
and can be played
by the same actor.
|
