MONICA lives on a quiet suburban street in a quiet American town.
Until the day she opens her door to find MILO, an overly aggressive magazine salesman on her doorstep.
Trained by the Acme School of Guerrilla Salesmanship, Milo will do anything necessary to sell magazines
because he’s determined to get America back on the road to literacy. (He also gets points for each magazine he sells,
and is only a subscription or two away from winning a trip around the world.)
So he’s cut Monica’s phone lines so she won’t be distracted, and he’s gone through her garbage to learn her interests.
Monica wants nothing to do with Milo or his magazines, but finally agrees to buy some just to get rid of him.
That’s when she learns she has to sign a contract.
(“So you’ll get your magazines,” Milo assures her. “And you’ll get your points.” ”That too.”)
Things are about to escalate between Monica and Milo, when the authorities intervene,
in the form of a voice speaking through a bullhorn — Acme Neighborhood Security has come to Monica’s rescue,
and the voice on the bullhorn wants Milo to release his hostages.
If everyone negotiates in good faith, the hostages could be released and all this could be worked out.
But the situation continues to escalate, with the arrival of Farley Matson Yowser (Acme Bureau of Sensationalist Tabloid Journalism), who’s only to happy to provide urgent on-the-spot coverage of on-the-scene events as they actually happen (or don’t happen,
as the case may be).
Luckily, helps arrives. Harper Spinnaker (Acme School of Law for the Nineties) hears about the crisis on his cell phone,
and circumvents the massive security presence outside to offer Milo his legal expertise (and media deal-making know-how).
As the day wears on, the voice on the bullhorn pleads with Milo to release the rest of his hostages and give himself up...
Hostages come and go freely... Harper Spinnaker cuts deals like crazy... And Farley Matson Yowser risks his life to bring us the news before it happens... "In this incredibly tense, explosively volatile stand-off, in which, very clearly, Anything Can Happen."
Winner — UpStage Theatre Playwright Award 2013
Winner — SF Footlights One-Act Play Contest 2009
Published by One-Act Play Depot
(10-Minute version)
Until the day she opens her door to find MILO, an overly aggressive magazine salesman on her doorstep.
Trained by the Acme School of Guerrilla Salesmanship, Milo will do anything necessary to sell magazines
because he’s determined to get America back on the road to literacy. (He also gets points for each magazine he sells,
and is only a subscription or two away from winning a trip around the world.)
So he’s cut Monica’s phone lines so she won’t be distracted, and he’s gone through her garbage to learn her interests.
Monica wants nothing to do with Milo or his magazines, but finally agrees to buy some just to get rid of him.
That’s when she learns she has to sign a contract.
(“So you’ll get your magazines,” Milo assures her. “And you’ll get your points.” ”That too.”)
Things are about to escalate between Monica and Milo, when the authorities intervene,
in the form of a voice speaking through a bullhorn — Acme Neighborhood Security has come to Monica’s rescue,
and the voice on the bullhorn wants Milo to release his hostages.
If everyone negotiates in good faith, the hostages could be released and all this could be worked out.
But the situation continues to escalate, with the arrival of Farley Matson Yowser (Acme Bureau of Sensationalist Tabloid Journalism), who’s only to happy to provide urgent on-the-spot coverage of on-the-scene events as they actually happen (or don’t happen,
as the case may be).
Luckily, helps arrives. Harper Spinnaker (Acme School of Law for the Nineties) hears about the crisis on his cell phone,
and circumvents the massive security presence outside to offer Milo his legal expertise (and media deal-making know-how).
As the day wears on, the voice on the bullhorn pleads with Milo to release the rest of his hostages and give himself up...
Hostages come and go freely... Harper Spinnaker cuts deals like crazy... And Farley Matson Yowser risks his life to bring us the news before it happens... "In this incredibly tense, explosively volatile stand-off, in which, very clearly, Anything Can Happen."
Winner — UpStage Theatre Playwright Award 2013
Winner — SF Footlights One-Act Play Contest 2009
Published by One-Act Play Depot
(10-Minute version)
MILO |
A Magazine Salesman |
MONICA |
A woman who lives on a quiet suburban street |
VOICE OUTSIDE |
Speaks through a bullhorn |
FARLEY MATSON YOWSER |
A TV Reporter |
HARPER SPINNAKER |
A Lawyer |
